My disappearance should be attributed to the clinical depression that I was into due to lack of interest by the readers(actually reader - only I read it). But, nothing absolutely no amount of dissuasion can stop me from blogging(bugging). So I continue...
The title of the post must have given a fair idea about what I have to SAY this time! But let me make something extremely clear at the outset about my outlook. I am downright negative, unnecessarily judgemental, and very cynical.
For those who have escaped the heavy duty promotion from Times Group, Aman Ki Asha is a peace project in collaboration with the Jang Group of Pakistan aimed at improving our relationship with Pakistan. It is such a noble exercise ! Then what is it that I am whining about...
Being India's largest media house, the reach of Times Group cannot be questioned. So can't the manipulation that must be going into the 'Business' of their 'public service' campaigns! Is it a big allegation that I am making? Maybe, but making irresponsible allegations should not be confined to the media alone. Someone needs to question them too.
Lets come back to Aman Ki Asha. What a beautiful campaign, executed masterfully. Gulzar's poetry, Amitabh Bachchan's baritone, a Senior Citizen of Pakistan requesting a Hindi film song across the border! Who's heart won't melt? I am all for India-Pakistan friendship but after following the campaign closely I wondered what happened all of a sudden to the group which was saying snap all ties with Pakistan. Times Now Editor in Chief (the news Channel belonging to the Times Group) was raking in highest TRPs for his 9p.m. show for his Right Wing views after 26/11. Times of India went on an offensive when the Government of India had shown some interest in backdoor diplomacy during July last year. Their Editorials were full of how our UPA government is bowing down to 'International'(read American) pressure. Front page of TOI carried a story saying the evil Taliban is some 300 km away from Indian Capital and will strike anytime the Pakistan Army wants it to. And many more of such articles, columns, reports full of Pakistan bashing right after 26/11 till early November last year. (appeasing readers is part of the profession) So as a follower of the media group I was taken aback when I read about this campaign. Why are they taking such a simplistic view of such a complex issue? Like everybody else even my first reaction was that its a noble exercise. But it left me wondering why such sudden change of heart.
And then came the eye opener. Times Music(a heavy loss making subsidiary of Bennett & Coleman & Co. Ltd. -the owners of the Times group) is out with the album 'aman ki asha' priced at Rs. 300.(normal Hindi Audio Album is priced at around Rs.150) There is more. Nobody bleeds like the Indian Film and Music Industry(reason : piracy) due to the tension between the two arch rivals. With the Times Group having high stakes in both these industries, pushing for relaxation of the ban on Hindi Films across the border makes economic sense and would be smoother with renewed public perception. Full page print ads in multi-lingual sister publications of Times of India, Visual ads on various channels during prime time, outdoor ads across the Indian cities , so much of moolah won't be spent just for so called public service campaign by the largest media house in the country. Its not even a stray incident, so as to give the Times Group the benefit of the doubt. They start such campaigns and don't follow them up. Lead India, India Poised, Teach India are such examples. All the other three campaigns had the biggest Hindi film stars viz. Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan etc. (that too for free). Everyone is aware that friendship with Pakistan is something close to Gulzarsaheb. So manipulating the public perception with such great stalwarts and popular icons is relatively easier.
Along with some quick profits, scoring brownie points and earning a reputation of socially responsible media house without doing anything constructive is really a great strategy!
But, with the wounds of 26/11 still fresh, Times Group in my opinion has gone a little too far in their quest for taking the high moral ground. I will end the post with an idiotic poem for an idiotic campaign,
No Aman , Not even Aman ki Asha,
Its Only about balance sheets and Profits ki abhilasha,
so all we do is an unnecessary Tamasha...
But, I have to admit, the ads are nice, the dove is innovative, the music is lovely, Gulzarsaheb's poetry is ethereal. My only problem is its usage to manipulate our emotions... Till then be happy and if you can spread the cheer . . . . .
Conning The Conscience . . .
Hello! First and foremost apologizes for disappearing. I have been terribly busy doing absolutely nothing. Lazing around is quite a daunting task and takes a heavy toll on one's mind. But here I am back to bug you! And I might as well add that I really appreciate the lovely response that I have got. (people consume anything these days and even go on to praise it)
Quite a few of us do come across many 'self-improvement' articles in various publications especially womens magazines (the only thing that I read) or tabloids. Especially, the ones which make us feel happy about ourselves. No, not the ones which truly make us realize the significance of the things that should be important to us or things that we generally do. Instead, the ones which make us feel happy about anything and everything that we are doing. The articles that I am pointing out are generally titled like "Don't Be Guilty" , " Its Not Worth It" , " Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy" etc.( can you believe it? womans magazine are proving to be my research material ) Their topics range from infidelity to ignoring family members etc. What I find most amusing is the explanation that they provide and their assurances how it will work for the reader. I'll try listing a few; 'An extra marital affair can enhance your self esteem' ; ' Harmless flirting makes you aware how attractive you are' ; ' Confessing your past can actually ruin your relationship' ; and the last one takes the cake 'Cheating on your partner can actually improve your relationship quotient'. Amazing, isn't it? I mean what kind of ridiculous self development advice is this? If a person is guilty about any of the above stated scenarios and wants to make amends and feel at peace by any possible way, you are telling him that there's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! I am not getting into whether the person in the above situation is right or wrong or the morals of it, all I am trying to SAY is that by believing the articles, we are subsiding the voice of our conscience(remember Sonia Gandhi's inner voice-something less calculative than that) . Anyway, it is quite silent on most issues throughout our life. If at all it raises its ugly head while paying a bribe or being a mute spectator to everyday injustice, our defense mechanism overpowers it - "How am I alone going to make any difference?" We cheat on our inner voice enough anyway! How about not buying these fake article theories (for buying womens magazines try raddiwala- great deals) And for once not 'CON'ning the CONSCIENCE?
So go ahead, and have as many affairs as you want! (as if you wanted my permission or advice)
Its my first attempt to reduce the size of the post. Send in your comments, till then be happy(after having multiple affairs, who wouldn't be?) and spread the cheer . . . . .np
Quite a few of us do come across many 'self-improvement' articles in various publications especially womens magazines (the only thing that I read) or tabloids. Especially, the ones which make us feel happy about ourselves. No, not the ones which truly make us realize the significance of the things that should be important to us or things that we generally do. Instead, the ones which make us feel happy about anything and everything that we are doing. The articles that I am pointing out are generally titled like "Don't Be Guilty" , " Its Not Worth It" , " Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy" etc.( can you believe it? womans magazine are proving to be my research material ) Their topics range from infidelity to ignoring family members etc. What I find most amusing is the explanation that they provide and their assurances how it will work for the reader. I'll try listing a few; 'An extra marital affair can enhance your self esteem' ; ' Harmless flirting makes you aware how attractive you are' ; ' Confessing your past can actually ruin your relationship' ; and the last one takes the cake 'Cheating on your partner can actually improve your relationship quotient'. Amazing, isn't it? I mean what kind of ridiculous self development advice is this? If a person is guilty about any of the above stated scenarios and wants to make amends and feel at peace by any possible way, you are telling him that there's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! I am not getting into whether the person in the above situation is right or wrong or the morals of it, all I am trying to SAY is that by believing the articles, we are subsiding the voice of our conscience(remember Sonia Gandhi's inner voice-something less calculative than that) . Anyway, it is quite silent on most issues throughout our life. If at all it raises its ugly head while paying a bribe or being a mute spectator to everyday injustice, our defense mechanism overpowers it - "How am I alone going to make any difference?" We cheat on our inner voice enough anyway! How about not buying these fake article theories (for buying womens magazines try raddiwala- great deals) And for once not 'CON'ning the CONSCIENCE?
So go ahead, and have as many affairs as you want! (as if you wanted my permission or advice)
Its my first attempt to reduce the size of the post. Send in your comments, till then be happy(after having multiple affairs, who wouldn't be?) and spread the cheer . . . . .np
Predictions. . .2 0 1 0
Yup that's right! I am posting some of the predictions for the year 2010! Before you jump to conclusions, let me clarify that its not an astrological prediction of any kind! I'll leave that to Mr. Lifeless Alcoholic (loose translation from Hindi of a famous astrologer). He's actually quite an adorable old fella and a very interesting persona! I mean , he's a Parsi , follows Hindu astrology, constantly chants Ganesha, speaks Gujarati, predicts in English newspaper and wear clothes as if he's in Bali or Bahamas and borrows jewellery from Dolly Thakore I think! Anyway I think I have done my bit of drifting from the topic for this post, I'll try to focus again...
My predictions are far different from those of the respected, learned Astrologer! Yes, even I am going predict how stars are going to behave in a specific situation and how it will affect us but not the stars in the sky but those who are amongst us on this planet(Taare Zameen Par). Essentially it means what I think Famous people are going to do throughout the year! To really enjoy the post one has to have a basic awareness (at least know who are the people mentioned) Check it Out! (Names are tweaked sightly so that some jobless fool doesn't sue me over this!)
Raj Thackersay : Its his vacation year (no elections in Maharashtra other than NMMC) , so he will relax and strategise. Every now and then he will blame Shivaji Sena for everything from his outdated hairstyle to escalating real estate prices which forbid him from taking over more mills in Mumbai.
Ashoka Chauhan : Will invite a religious leader to his house once again if he is able to reduce load shedding in Maharashtra(it will be a miracle so miracle men have to be thanked). For some individual 'load shedding' might even consider a Family membership at a Gym (weight-loss)
Aamna(Shivaji Sena Mouthpiece) : Will accuse Lata Mangeshkar for singing Hindi songs as that has hurt the 'sentiments' of the people of Maharashtra. But will continue supporting 'Aditya Thackersay'(convent educated) who has released an audio album consisting of his Hindi poems.
Karunavidhi : Will change his brand of glares and switch to Ray-Ban. He will also learn Hindi. Might consider showing some 'karuna' (sympathy) towards UPA & stop blackmailing them over everything!
Aalu Prasad Jadhav : After being able to do nothing for Biharis in Bihar, will still promise them security and prosperity in Maharashtra. If he becomes a Railway minister, he might reduce the fare further so as to encourage migration out of Bihar.
Shashi Suroor : Will not Tweet his resignation when he is asked to resign for every now and then desperately trying to be in news. Wonder why he wasn't tweeting when he was at the UN.
Mayadevi : Might raze Taj Mahal off claiming
that Shah Jahan insulted the people she represents. Will raise a monument 'Maya Mahal' instead. And no she will neither get a plastic surgery done nor will she hire a stylist.
Narinder Moli : Now, he will make it mandatory to 'vote for BJPP' in Gujarat.
Amitab Bachpan : Will take humility(fake or not- we don't know) to Himalayan heights by claiming Rakhi Samant has better acting skills than him. There will be no respite for us from his association with Amar Singh. Mr. Bachpan will continue to be his bade 'bhaiyya'.(pun intended)
Aishwarya Bai Bachpan : Will cultivate even thicker Indo-Anglo-Irish-American accent while speaking. She intends to take the shrill of her giggle to the next level.
Charan Kohar : Will apologize to George Bush(not Obama) for showing US in bad light in his forthcoming film so that his film's release is not stalled in the US.
Shobha Le : Will continue to criticize anything and everything that has even an iota of mass appeal. Will insist on showing the world how much she knows about the Uranium being imported from Australia.(She doesn't know anything but who does? so she will get away yet again!)
Yash Aaj Films :Will launch a saas bahu serial on TV for Rani Mukherjee titled 'Laga Profits Mein Daag"
Anil Ambalani : Will file a suit against his elder brother for taking 10 grams of excess mithai which their mother had got them.
Mukesh Ambalani : Will fight the suit but not share that 10 grams with his younger brother and will again defend himself saying 'his shareholders loose a lot because of this suit.'
Chetak Bhagat : Will start writing his new book titled ' 3 IDIOTIC Mistakes of My Life' . The book will be about 'three failed script writers' and how 'worthy' they are but the big bad Bollywood(sorry Mr. Bachchan) exploits them. And yes the story will be '100%' his!
Mahesh Bhatty : Will finally get himself a Sapat Malam (anti scratching ointment) and shout only on select TV shows. Will continue to demand the legalisation of pornography.(thus enabling him to become a movie mogul in that genre)
Aamirchand Khan :For a change, he will act in a film and not just in the marketing exercise. His next marketing gimmick will be to do the laundry of the people who work at 'Dhobi Ghat'.
Sal Man Khan : With his hair fully transplanted, will not come with weird hairstyles(can't say the same about the choice of his denim colour though) and introduce a look alike of Sangeeta Bijlani.
Barack Obamama : Will CHANGE everything(as claimed) - not about the system but about himself.
Safe Kali Khan : Will not wear a bandanna at Filmfare Awards.
Kaleena Kapoor : Will write a book on how to maintain your stocks even after delivering maximum 'flop' films.
Michele Obamama : Will reduce her appearances in the press and try not to act like a President herself. Might finally realize that people don't actually think she is very graceful !(it was a perk of being the Wife of the most powerful person on earth)
'Shrill' pa Shetty : Will show off another rock on her fingers gifted by the ATM she carries around and calls him her husband. And yes she will still laugh for one whole minute even when anyone politely greets her.
Ian Chappal : When quizzed over the state of Test Cricket, he will say he doesn't think Sachin Tendulkar is number 1 batsman. When quizzed if T-20 is the future of cricket he will say Sachin Tendulkar isn't the same as he was.
Lion Woods : Will get non-disclosure agreement signed from all his next girlfriends (family blog- can't reveal all the details)
Saina Mirja : Will play at least one match between injuries. She's planning to take her accent lessons from Salman Khan & Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Might consider not shopping at the Char-minar gali for her tees.
Rakhee Samant :Will do a reality show educating people how to speak English!
Victory Bechkham : Will be awarded a noble prize(anyone gets it these days) for remarkable achievement in food conservation.(pioneer of the size '0' phenomenon)
Furdeen Khan : Will take acting lessons from his cousin Zayed.(I need not predict further, everyone knows the result)
Mamita Bannerji : Will blame the lack of infrastructure of railways and the drought in the country and everything that she can on CPM. Will hire a translator for 'her' English.
Bishapa Basu : Might consider paying the Doctor his pending fees for the job, that has paid 'wholesome' dividends to her.
Priyanki Chopda : After having a battery of staff travelling with her for her eating needs to her masseur, she will now hire a new girl who will act instead of her in the films she signs here on!
Asif Nakli Zardari : Will be expecting a Noble Peace Prize. (can't blame him - precedents might have influenced him into thinking so)
Nikelos Sar'cosy' : The premier of the European nation will do his 'bit' to reduce global 'warming' by asking his girlfriend to take her nude pictures off the internet.
Anuragan Kaashyp : Will continue to earn money from writing scripts for mainstream commercial films and will continue to criticize them by saying they were bad stories.
Aashay Kumar : Will stop charging astronomical fees for the films he does thus enabling producer to at least dream of the film being a hit.
Katyrina Kaif : Her new year resolution will be to learn to at least tweak one facial muscle. She might come out with book full of tips for phirang models to make it big in Bollywood. The book will be titled 'Acting Dumb pays Rich Dividends'
Himes Reshamiyan : Will compose, sing, act , produce and even direct the film all by himself. Might even have to watch the film all by himself!
and finally ,
Bekam Daruwala : The great Old man of Astrology will have a magnificent year full of great health, success and accurate predictions.
'GANESHA' says I mean no disrespect towards the above mentioned celebrities. They all are tremendous achievers in their respective fields! Do not mean to hurt the feelings of any fan either, as I love them all immensely. Its just meant to be in a lighter vein so enjoy!
Thank you for bearing with the lenght of the post, till then be Happy & spread the cheer ! . . . . . np
My predictions are far different from those of the respected, learned Astrologer! Yes, even I am going predict how stars are going to behave in a specific situation and how it will affect us but not the stars in the sky but those who are amongst us on this planet(Taare Zameen Par). Essentially it means what I think Famous people are going to do throughout the year! To really enjoy the post one has to have a basic awareness (at least know who are the people mentioned) Check it Out! (Names are tweaked sightly so that some jobless fool doesn't sue me over this!)
Raj Thackersay : Its his vacation year (no elections in Maharashtra other than NMMC) , so he will relax and strategise. Every now and then he will blame Shivaji Sena for everything from his outdated hairstyle to escalating real estate prices which forbid him from taking over more mills in Mumbai.
Ashoka Chauhan : Will invite a religious leader to his house once again if he is able to reduce load shedding in Maharashtra(it will be a miracle so miracle men have to be thanked). For some individual 'load shedding' might even consider a Family membership at a Gym (weight-loss)
Aamna(Shivaji Sena Mouthpiece) : Will accuse Lata Mangeshkar for singing Hindi songs as that has hurt the 'sentiments' of the people of Maharashtra. But will continue supporting 'Aditya Thackersay'(convent educated) who has released an audio album consisting of his Hindi poems.
Karunavidhi : Will change his brand of glares and switch to Ray-Ban. He will also learn Hindi. Might consider showing some 'karuna' (sympathy) towards UPA & stop blackmailing them over everything!
Aalu Prasad Jadhav : After being able to do nothing for Biharis in Bihar, will still promise them security and prosperity in Maharashtra. If he becomes a Railway minister, he might reduce the fare further so as to encourage migration out of Bihar.
Shashi Suroor : Will not Tweet his resignation when he is asked to resign for every now and then desperately trying to be in news. Wonder why he wasn't tweeting when he was at the UN.
Mayadevi : Might raze Taj Mahal off claiming
that Shah Jahan insulted the people she represents. Will raise a monument 'Maya Mahal' instead. And no she will neither get a plastic surgery done nor will she hire a stylist.Narinder Moli : Now, he will make it mandatory to 'vote for BJPP' in Gujarat.
Amitab Bachpan : Will take humility(fake or not- we don't know) to Himalayan heights by claiming Rakhi Samant has better acting skills than him. There will be no respite for us from his association with Amar Singh. Mr. Bachpan will continue to be his bade 'bhaiyya'.(pun intended)
Aishwarya Bai Bachpan : Will cultivate even thicker Indo-Anglo-Irish-American accent while speaking. She intends to take the shrill of her giggle to the next level.
Charan Kohar : Will apologize to George Bush(not Obama) for showing US in bad light in his forthcoming film so that his film's release is not stalled in the US.
Shobha Le : Will continue to criticize anything and everything that has even an iota of mass appeal. Will insist on showing the world how much she knows about the Uranium being imported from Australia.(She doesn't know anything but who does? so she will get away yet again!)
Yash Aaj Films :Will launch a saas bahu serial on TV for Rani Mukherjee titled 'Laga Profits Mein Daag"
Anil Ambalani : Will file a suit against his elder brother for taking 10 grams of excess mithai which their mother had got them.
Mukesh Ambalani : Will fight the suit but not share that 10 grams with his younger brother and will again defend himself saying 'his shareholders loose a lot because of this suit.'
Chetak Bhagat : Will start writing his new book titled ' 3 IDIOTIC Mistakes of My Life' . The book will be about 'three failed script writers' and how 'worthy' they are but the big bad Bollywood(sorry Mr. Bachchan) exploits them. And yes the story will be '100%' his!
Mahesh Bhatty : Will finally get himself a Sapat Malam (anti scratching ointment) and shout only on select TV shows. Will continue to demand the legalisation of pornography.(thus enabling him to become a movie mogul in that genre)
Aamirchand Khan :For a change, he will act in a film and not just in the marketing exercise. His next marketing gimmick will be to do the laundry of the people who work at 'Dhobi Ghat'.
Sal Man Khan : With his hair fully transplanted, will not come with weird hairstyles(can't say the same about the choice of his denim colour though) and introduce a look alike of Sangeeta Bijlani.
Barack Obamama : Will CHANGE everything(as claimed) - not about the system but about himself.
Safe Kali Khan : Will not wear a bandanna at Filmfare Awards.
Kaleena Kapoor : Will write a book on how to maintain your stocks even after delivering maximum 'flop' films.
Michele Obamama : Will reduce her appearances in the press and try not to act like a President herself. Might finally realize that people don't actually think she is very graceful !(it was a perk of being the Wife of the most powerful person on earth)
'Shrill' pa Shetty : Will show off another rock on her fingers gifted by the ATM she carries around and calls him her husband. And yes she will still laugh for one whole minute even when anyone politely greets her.
Ian Chappal : When quizzed over the state of Test Cricket, he will say he doesn't think Sachin Tendulkar is number 1 batsman. When quizzed if T-20 is the future of cricket he will say Sachin Tendulkar isn't the same as he was.
Lion Woods : Will get non-disclosure agreement signed from all his next girlfriends (family blog- can't reveal all the details)
Saina Mirja : Will play at least one match between injuries. She's planning to take her accent lessons from Salman Khan & Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Might consider not shopping at the Char-minar gali for her tees.
Rakhee Samant :Will do a reality show educating people how to speak English!
Victory Bechkham : Will be awarded a noble prize(anyone gets it these days) for remarkable achievement in food conservation.(pioneer of the size '0' phenomenon)
Furdeen Khan : Will take acting lessons from his cousin Zayed.(I need not predict further, everyone knows the result)
Mamita Bannerji : Will blame the lack of infrastructure of railways and the drought in the country and everything that she can on CPM. Will hire a translator for 'her' English.
Bishapa Basu : Might consider paying the Doctor his pending fees for the job, that has paid 'wholesome' dividends to her.
Priyanki Chopda : After having a battery of staff travelling with her for her eating needs to her masseur, she will now hire a new girl who will act instead of her in the films she signs here on!
Asif Nakli Zardari : Will be expecting a Noble Peace Prize. (can't blame him - precedents might have influenced him into thinking so)
Nikelos Sar'cosy' : The premier of the European nation will do his 'bit' to reduce global 'warming' by asking his girlfriend to take her nude pictures off the internet.
Anuragan Kaashyp : Will continue to earn money from writing scripts for mainstream commercial films and will continue to criticize them by saying they were bad stories.
Aashay Kumar : Will stop charging astronomical fees for the films he does thus enabling producer to at least dream of the film being a hit.
Katyrina Kaif : Her new year resolution will be to learn to at least tweak one facial muscle. She might come out with book full of tips for phirang models to make it big in Bollywood. The book will be titled 'Acting Dumb pays Rich Dividends'
Himes Reshamiyan : Will compose, sing, act , produce and even direct the film all by himself. Might even have to watch the film all by himself!
and finally ,
Bekam Daruwala : The great Old man of Astrology will have a magnificent year full of great health, success and accurate predictions.
'GANESHA' says I mean no disrespect towards the above mentioned celebrities. They all are tremendous achievers in their respective fields! Do not mean to hurt the feelings of any fan either, as I love them all immensely. Its just meant to be in a lighter vein so enjoy!
Thank you for bearing with the lenght of the post, till then be Happy & spread the cheer ! . . . . . np
WHAT NOT TO EXPECT . . . ?
Hello Everyone ! (this is to create an illusion that very many people read this blog) First of all a very very Happy New Year to all the readers of ' OVERHEARD ' (fine! even to the non-readers)
Now, without getting too much onto your nerves, (you see too much can result into making the reader sick of reading itself) I'd like to come to what I have to SAY!
I have always wondered about what people write on their blogs. I troubled my peanut-sized brain by trying to think what will I blog about. I thought and I thought and I thought...As usual there were no answers! (I cannot think about constructive things - neurological flaw) Don't be too happy that this is going to be a small blog , now that I have not come up with any answers! I may not know what I am going to blog about but I have discovered " WHAT I WON'T BE BLOGGING ABOUT " (that's a start)
I will try and keep the following out of ' OVERHEARD '
Now, without getting too much onto your nerves, (you see too much can result into making the reader sick of reading itself) I'd like to come to what I have to SAY!
I have always wondered about what people write on their blogs. I troubled my peanut-sized brain by trying to think what will I blog about. I thought and I thought and I thought...As usual there were no answers! (I cannot think about constructive things - neurological flaw) Don't be too happy that this is going to be a small blog , now that I have not come up with any answers! I may not know what I am going to blog about but I have discovered " WHAT I WON'T BE BLOGGING ABOUT " (that's a start)
I will try and keep the following out of ' OVERHEARD '
- ME & MYSELF : I am completely aware that those who have read my first post (unfortunate ones who were forced to read it) will vehemently disagree to this. But , I presume, reader would understand that it was my first blog so an introduction was something that was necessary. And yes, I do agree with all of you that a personal diary of one's day should be strictly personal and not a public blog. Whoever wants to know what time the blogger got up, ate, slept, etc., how they fought with their spouses, how their workout went for a toss, and again etc. I am extremely self centered and self obsessed(people who know me kindly stop nodding) but, I am ready to change and give up such an inseparable trait of mine, just so that my reader is not bored to death. (please at least out of sympathy continue reading my blog)
- MY PETS : For the first and the last time I am going to talk about my pets on this blog i.e. in this post. I know how annoying it can get to read about stories of beloved animal (generally loved only by their masters). Some of the stories could be - About how I 'bought' a dog because I loved 'it' so much.(breeding animals is a industry - think of employment it generates) How disciplined my dog is, 'it' never poo poo's in my apartment. (who cares about society garden or public roads) How my dog is from a specific breed which is so damn expensive (whoever said racism was bad amongst dogs) How my dog eats only his 'pedigree' (who cares about death of a human child every 6 seconds due to hunger) and the most important and the common one- Unconditional Love ( only on the condition of being tied, trained and fed by a human) . DISCLAIMER : Dog can be replaced by any domestic animal. (I am non-discriminating) & Apology for using the term 'it' as a pronoun for pets , I know it can be insensitive to all pet lovers but I have to be grammatically correct too. Coming back to my pets I have only few common ones - The Bengal Tiger, The Panda, The Polar Bear.
- DEPRESSIONS : After having depressed people around me for so many years (and intending to do so by blogging) , I would like to keep stories of my personal struggle and their effect on my mind to myself. The kind of pain and sufferings, hardships and sorrows the rejections and dejections, etc. (couldn't find more synonyms) that I have suffered in this life can be equated only with the Nirupa Roy's characters in 70's Hindi Films or today's bahus on Indian Television. It would have to be an epic by itself, so a free blog (which no one reads) on a website would be indeed demeaning my story.
- RECIPES: Many of you must be aware of my extremely famous but slightly secretive culinary skills. They have been devised in a very methodological and naturally scientific way. (I know my last line doesn't make any sense) My recipes have excellent balance of taste , nutrition and age old secrets which make people loose weight as they have these particular tasty, mouth watering, 'finger licking good', 'I am loving it' type dishes. WHO (World Health Organisation) has already declared Obesity as the next big epidemic, making weight loss techniques the next 'OIL' for the west. Fearing the repercussions of this, the Government of India has locked up all these precious and top secret recipes (mine) into a secret Locker of a Bank in the European country which is known for its banking (courtesy: corrupt politicians) , Tourism (courtesy: Yash Chopra's Films) , Chocolates , Cows etc. So even recipes is out. (personal requests for the same will not be entertained. Indian Intelligence Agencies are at work)
- MISCELLANEOUS : I will refrain from posting some of the things that are available all over the internet for free but go on to become major content of many a blogs like ... Forwarded emails which beg to be witty! (Our mailboxes are flooded with it) ; Posts of other bloggers who are very popular (why not just put up the link instead) ; pictures of some celebrity activity (tabloid media is on the overdrive anyway) ; links to download of popular widgets or songs or movies; etc. Now something about the way and the language I will not use. I wont make it an excercise to find the most difficult English words and pepper my blog with it so that my reader has to sit with dictionary. (and limited vocabolary isn't just the reason)
- ANYTHING FAKE : On a sightly serious note I will try and never write about issues, topics or anything that I don't feel strongly about. I will never plagiarise. I will try and not be biased and be fair. I will not try to settle personal scores through the blog. I will always be honest. I will always be thankful to whoever has read even one post of mine as it means a lot to mean and saves me from a nervous breakdown(ref: read earlier post). Doesn't it sound as if I am taking an oath as the most popular blogger of all time. (I warned you I am self indulgent)
So finally you know what to expect from 'OVERHEARD' or shall I say what not to expect. Please do comment on it. Till then be happy and spread the cheer! . . . . .np
