TWEAKING THINKERS . . . !
Being Mahatma . . .
Re-Shuffled or Re-Suffered . . . !
Since last five months, the Prime Minister has been sending out feelers about this major Re-shuffle in his Cabinet. Scam after scam this government has been found wanting, when confronted for action. The response had been first a denial and then a timid step in name of action against corruption or plain incompetence! Hence, a lot rode on this 'Re-shuffle' but what it turned out to be can be summed up in a Hindi proverb - " खोदा पहाड़ और निकला चूहा, और वो भी मरा हुआ" ! Lets see how UPA has dug this hill! (and their heal in denying the nation the response it deserves)
- Maximum goodies in terms of elevation to Cabinet Ministries or better ministries have been doled out to Uttar Pradesh, Kerala and West Bengal. It is only incidental that they go to polls the coming months.
- There was a hype being created by the Congress party about possible induction of youth. Being the oldest party in the country, their parameter for young starts at the age of 47.
- Some of the re-shuffle has been baffling. Vilasrao Deshmukh who was running Heavy Industries and Public Enterprise has been now moved to Rural Development. Industries as well as rural economy both are in shambles in Maharashtra where, he has been the Chief Minister twice.
- Heavy Industries and Public Enterprise has been given to NCP's Prafful Patel who previously headed Aviation and saw to it that Air India nosedived for a crash landing from which it may never recover. After helping the 'Kingfishers' & 'Indigoons' to fly their 'Jet' at cost of the National carrier he might now look to wipe out all other 'ailing' PSU's, thus helping some 'Adaani' (in Marathi it means illiterate)
- Murli Deora was busy overlooking the fight between two brothers warring over the Petroleum 'ratnas' during his tenure as Oil and Petroleum ministry rather than controlling fuel prices. Probably, his proximity to the corporate world saw him being demoted to Corporate Affairs. (oops!)
- Sharad Pawar had been saying reduce his burden and so the government took away consumer affairs and has given him food supply. Perfect! For minister who has done nothing to address the issue of Farmer suicide or HUGE prise rise, Food supply is perfect choice. He will make sure there are 10 more Lavasa's, 3 IPL's per year and 100 Lalit Modis. For price rise he has been saying they will come down in 4 days since last 2 years!
- C.P. Joshi - From Rural Development to Roads & Transport. From welfare to infrastructure! If you can figure that out let me know.
- Jaipal Reddy who headed Urban Development has been given Oil and Petroleum! CWG village was such a huge miracle (I hope you get the sarcasm) and God knows Oil ministry needs a miracle.
- Dow chemicals unofficial advocate Kamal Nath has been put in charge of Urban Development from Roads and Transport. He had promised some few Lakhs of kilometers by end of his term, which was never going to happen so now he has an excuse.
- One of the Oldest ministers his the Cabinet, Mr. M.S. Gill who was in charge of Youth and Sports ministry has been given Statistics, Science and Technology. He has been haded over Statistics probably to keep a account of corruption during the CWG and Science to come with a Vaccine against the disease of corruption called ' Kalmadise'
Such and many more bizarre changes carried out with no pattern or trend. Rahul Gandhi cannot even blame collation politics this time around (golden excuse). Seems to me it was more of a Congress appeasement programme than Cabinet Reshuffle. (I believe the Andhra effect) 37 changes, and Not a single, not even one minister accused of mis-appropriation or under-performance has been reprimanded. In fact not a single minister has been dropped. All they have done is shuffled the cards around. We seem to be in a tricky high table game of cards, where cards drawn for us (read minsters) are really bad! So the Prime Minister and Sonia Gandhi (the inner voice wala version) should have understood as much as you would re-shuffle them its no point. Positions have been changed People have not!
The scariest part of this is the Prime Minister said that this was a 'minor' re-shuffle (remember 37 changes) and there would be a major one after the budget! Phew! ( you guys need not worry I wont write about that one) In short, the nation is going to Re-Suffer due to this Re-Shuffle!
Till then take care and spread the cheer ! . . . . . nP.
NA-PAKistan Cricket !
But I feel like doing this post like the science answer, to a question which asked us to enlist the salient features of a particular topic. So like wise, here I go,
- Pakistan Cricket Board is the only sporting body which might make us feel, Suresh Kalmadi is not such bad guy. If that is an overstatement, at least it makes us feel that BCCI is not the biggest fool. (But, they are close second)
- Not just the sporting body, many Indian Cricket fans would be grateful to the Almighty for players like even Ravinder Jadeja rather than Salman Butt or Mohammad Asif. (We prefer you being paid only once for under-performance)
- Many Indians are happy that it is not happening to us and many people are more happy that it is happening to the Pakistanis. (Theory is if Pakistan Cricket is isolated it will save our nation from mourning during a loss to them)
- Indian media is sad, they were not able to break the story! (just imagine the TRPs!)
- We have to be happy that even are politicians are smarter than theirs! After a scam, Pakistani politicians have jumped the gun, unlike their Indian counterparts who would have dragged the issue for so long that everyone would have lost interest. (And our politicians give better excuses as well)
- Excuses remind me, a Pakistani news papers claims that it is R&AW (Indian counter intelligence agency) which has framed these young cricketers! Now, isn't that a clear over-estimation of what the lethargic agency can do! (But, I am sure R&AW would more than eager to claim the credit for it)
- Not just the sensational media, even Pakistan High Commissioner to United Kingdom has blamed it completely on India. From, lack of law and order in that country to a economy in dire state to terrorism to now match fixing, everything is India's fault. I am dreading the day they blame India for inflicting the pain of having Zardari as their President. (Indian policy makers would never do anything against Pakistan, they are busy messing up their own country)
- A corrective theory to counter this menace being put forth is, betting should be legalised. The logic is if you cannot stop it, it would be better to earn taxes from it. Next in line for the demand of legalisation are match fixing, loot, extortion. (Logic is the same as the previous one)
- And finally the most funniest part, President of Pakistan, Asif Ali Zardari said he will punish these corrupt players. I say funny because he in his country has caught on the name Mr. 10% for his corrupt ways. (Javed Miandad who's son is married to Dawood Ibrahim's daughter has also said he is ready to help Pakistan cricket)
- To sum it up, Pakistani cricket was in already a Fix, it needy some heavy duty Fixing but instead the players have indulged in Match Fixing! (sad no? I know!)
Till then be happy and spread the cheer ! . . . . . nP
GO 'VAIN' DA RE GOPALA!
Each passing year one gets to see these huge hoardings, each one claiming their 'Dahi-Handi Ustsav' being the biggest in terms of the participation, height, prize money, crowd turn up, media coverage etc. The event is conducted with great flair. With a public holiday being declared in the state, there is huge turnout. Celebrities turn up at different locations throughout the day. There is huge media conclave at major mandals claiming exclusive rights to coverage. (And mind you National Media) And every local cable operator telecasts it the whole day on local channel. And corporates aren't far behind. From pan-masala to energy drinks to even the supposedly niche investment banking firms, all want their share of the visibility. And unmistakeably if there is so much visibility how could politicians stay behind. In fact, even if these 'events' are conducted by youth centric NGOs, their parent organisational head is always a major local politician. But, what is it that is bothering me? (let us just say the sadist in me) Can I not tolerate the middle class boys and girls having fun for a day? That too when it is a festival with religious, traditional and cultural significance! But, one just has too look at the prize money involved in these events (PR exercise for everyone involved) and all the tall claims of it being having to do anything with religion or culture would crumble like an old chawl in Mumbai crumbles during monsoon. The money we are talking here is huge to say the least. The highest amount this year being, Rs.77,77,777. (I still do not have the new rupee symbol) Others are not far behind, with likes of 50 lakhs, 31 lakhs, 25 lakhs etc.
My issue lies with the kind of celebration. Earlier, there used to be a small mandal organising a celebration early in the morning, with the funds coming from residents living around. Slowly, these mandals got politicised and wanted to attract political mileage. Local shop-owners and businessman were forced into giving 'chanda' as it is known. Both parties kept the transactions unaccounted as both had many things to hide. And now the practice has nearly got a face of an established syndicate with major corporates jumping into the fray and for the media too, Dahi Handi coming in Handy. No one seems to be interested in, how much money comes in, how the money comes in. Where does it go? Does it all go?It would be extremely naive and even foolish to an extent to think that with a politician at the helm one would have a clean, corruption free event. Many of us would still turn our backs on this part saying chalta hai ! (we should change 'सत्यमेव जयते' to 'चलता है' in our National Emblem) But, what about the risk that this event puts the lives of these young men. Higher the prize money, higher the risk! (just for confirmation check the next day's newspapers) One would say participants are aware but one cannot absolve the organisers of the responsibility as they increase the stakes. We face water cuts in the city, many parts of our country are under drought, but during these utsavs water tankers are available in abundance, just to add to the 'festive' mood. Such blatant and shameless use of a scarce resource is criminal to say the least. And if this doesn't anger you enough, even Fire-Brigade is used for the same purposes. I am not even getting into noise pollution caused and security challenges posed during such large scale events.
I have written the post presuming readers know that Dahi Handi is celebrated on the day next to जन्मास्थिमी i.e. the birth of Lord Krishna. But, I think someone needs to remind us why Lord Krishna used to play his Dahi Handi. Even during his time the social ratio was a skewed one. His poor friends who actually produced the makhan never even got a wiff of it. So as to give them the taste of the 'creamy layer' (in the most literal sense) He, would indulge in this sport. (I hope Lord Krishna's methods would not be judged as communist or socialist) If we have to fake that we are celebrating this festival in the manner we are, for religious reasons, we might as well do it the way Shri Krishna did it, for the needy. In the prize money of the biggest Handi alone, as many as 800 children would be able to complete their entire education.
It could be for any worthy cause, and I am sure the participating Gopalas would still be enthusiastic about it as prize is not the major criteria for them. (Anyway there are enough reports of prize money not reaching them) In this way we would have Govinda in the purest form and the whole exercise would not ' GO in VAIN '.(I am grinning broadly as I think I am just brilliant with words) Govinda re Gopala!
Till then be happy and spread the cheer! . . . . . np
Gone To The Dogs - Literally !
The remark came in a rally held in Chandigarh , in reference to the last minute ditch that BJP suffered at the hands of the above stated leaders, in a cut motion against the UPA, recently. It can be loosely translated from Hindi as (and for a change it doesn't get lost in translation) these leaders roared liked 'Lions' but ultimately when threatened with CBI cases all they did was to lick the feet of the Congress President, Mrs. Sonia Gandhi like 'Dogs'.
Now, that you know the 'long' history (its always long when I am narrating it) you would agree with me that the remark was 'derogatory'! But, to whom is my question. in my opinion, to the poor Animals !
I'll tell you how! Mr. Gadkari calls the leaders 'Dogs' because he felt they deserted his party when it was needed the most. How erroneous could he have gotten with his comparison? Doesn't he know that being 'faithful' is a canine characteristic more than human. I know it since standard first in school as I was like everybody else given a model 'composition' (essay) - My Pet- Moti!
The remark hasn't gone down well with anyone. Along with the Samajwadi party leader Abu Azmi in Mumbai, The Dog Federation of India has strongly condemned the attack and appealed to all political parties to keep their community out of mud-slinging. If Mr. Gadkari does not unconditionally apologise, the DFI is threatening to go on a hunger strike.
The BJP in the defence of its President has said that, he is from Nagpur, Vidharba and in that region such remarks are not treated as insulting. By that logic Mr. Gadkari must be the head of the party in Nagpur and not at the national level. Its again a problem seen with humans more than it is with Dogs- including the stray ones. I mean they never leave a particular part of their area. They know their limits!
Along with BJP, another Animal breed (another here means along with Dogs) is a worried lot these days! Its the Hippopotamus! All India Board For Hippopotamus Rights have already approached eminent lawyers and are assessing legal options as they are fearing a backlash against Mr. Gadkari, which in turn might hurt their sentiments.
In all this the grand old Fox (the same political party who feet were being licked) has said nothing but rubbished Mr. Gadkari as a 'spoilt child'. The media was disappointed as a human example was cited! But, its not as if the Fox has never abused animals. Mani Shankar Aiyer, now only a senior Congress leader had said that Mr. Lal Krishna Advani was a Alligator who shed Crocodile tears. The Congress party got away with that remark as the inter-family rivalry between the Alligators and the Crocodiles came to the fore and they could not fight the insult strongly. And innumerable protests have been made by the Indian Association of Elephants against the use of their picture as the party symbol in Mayawati's BSP. But, the Election Commission of India is yet to pay any heed to it. The Committee for Preservation of Bengal Tigers have quite frequently requested the media to not compare them to a toothless, hapless, aging 'Tiger' (self-proclaimed) residing in Mumbai. They say they would rather prefer being extinct!
What would be extremely interesting to know is what another Mrs. Gandhi who happens to be an MP from BJP has to say about the insult being meted out to animals. Mrs. Maneka Gandhi who is the only hope the Animal community have in the political domain as she without fail takes up their cause at the most glamorous podiums.
By the examples cited above, our Parliament should resemble a Jungle or a Zoo. In reality it is a Jungle Raj when it comes to the kind of governance we have or even a Zoo where the Animals (here politicians) are free and the only caged entity is Indian Welfare.
And now to end the post I would like to make it amply clear that it was meant to be in a lighter vein. I hopefully have not offended anyone or their sensibilities. I did not mean to do so! And to borrow a line from Mr. Gadkari's defence after the fiasco, " I did not directly/indirectly call them Animals. I was only citing a comparison. They are all respectful leaders and If anybody is hurt, I take back my post! "
Till then be Happy and try and spread the cheer ! . . . . . nP